"Don't Write Down Your Crimes" Notebook (SIGNED)
"Don't write down your crimes." Clearly, some criminals missed Simon's memo. Be smarter than that (right?). This sleek, faux-leather notebook is emblazoned with the golden rule from The Casual Criminalist.
Inside, you will find Simon's full criminal commandments printed for reference, along with his personal signature. It's the perfect, subtly stylish companion for completely legal notes and sinisterly innocent plans.
Just remember: If you are committing crimes, maybe skip this one.
Official Signed Script – Used Live on The Casual Criminalist
Ever wondered what Simon's scripts actually look like when he's telling those wild stories? Here's your chance to own a genuine, one-of-a-kind script—used and personally annotated by Simon Whistler during a real episode of The Casual Criminalist.
Each script is authentically marked by Simon himself. Maybe even some behind-the-scenes scribbles or coffee stains (sorry about that!).
Since only one of each episode exists, you'll hold a unique piece of podcasting history. Perfect for framing, bragging about, or just proudly displaying on your bookshelf.
"Don't Screw Up Your Kids" Commemorative Coin – Limited Edition
Celebrate the golden rule in sophisticated style! This limited-edition commemorative coin features intricate detailing, a striking faux-gold/silver finish, and Simon Whistler's blunt life advice: "Don't Screw Up Your Kids."
This is an exclusive collector's item: only 200 made, individually numbered, and includes a Certificate of Authenticity hand-signed by Simon himself. Once they're gone, they're gone—grab yours today!
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